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We ate lunch in the dark today, the baby and me. It was too hot for lights. We could only stare thickly out the window as we chewed our cold tomato sandwiches, like Brick and Maggie in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, doing our very best smolders.

I was mostly replaying last night’s supper, which Wayne took all of the leftovers from on his way to work this morning – the remnants of an impromptu Monday-night dinner party. We scored some top-notch house guests in the early evening, and due to the heat I planned to barbecue sweet, giant shrimp and serve them with an awesome cold side that Gelstein taught me: a salad of avocado, mango, green onion, salt and lime juice.

However, my menu was dashed at the No Frills, where the shrimp were puny and worm-like, the avocados were hard and green, and the mangoes were no better. It was the sad truth. And as a 26-year-old Liz Taylor opined as Tennessee’s Maggie Pollitt, “The truth is as dirty as lies.” Over to Plan B:

Rainbow trout barbecued perfectly by Wayne the pescatarian, which he marinates with a clean, tasty topping of green onion, lemon, salt and pepper (he probably snuck a little butter in there too):

Corn on the cob (boiled on the barbecue’s side burner. No way was the oven coming alive in my furnace-hot kitchen):

And a deconstructed creamy Caesar salad, with the yummiest yogourt-based dressing I discovered recently on Epicurious.com. The recipe doesn’t even call for oil, but it’s gregarious as anything, built on anchovy paste, garlic, lemon and parmiggiano.

I love serving it this way; everyone can dress it on their own plate with as much or as little dressing and as many croutons as they like.

We ate in front of the fan. All the guests said the dressing was as good as any mayo-ey version they’d ever had. There was cold beer and prosecco to do what the fan couldn’t. One small victory for the hot-roof crowd.

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Words of Wayne

Look at what Wayne discovered on his breakfast plate (medium: banana string). It's the Playboy Banana. I ask you, Dr. Freud: How does he find this stuff? If he could have, he would have put it in his cherished Food Oddities mug, along with the treble-clef pretzel and the Bill Clinton potato chip.

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